Later in the evening- I couldn't stop talking! I couldn't stop being amazed at what God was doing in my life, how fortune I was, and how very anxious I am for the future. Jared was happy to hear all that I was experiencing, and we talked about it late into the night. Then again in the morning, and on the way home from church this afternoon. Unloading the groceries, I felt grateful for what we had. Like a deaf man hearing birds chirp for the first time, I was suddenly awakened to my new sense of gratitude and peace. It's not that we didn't know the birds were there- it's just that we weren't able to fully experience them. I don't even have the words to describe what I'm trying to convey for you right now. So many new sounds. So little time.
I unpacked the groceries and put them away. Then I sat on the floor of my kitchen and my almost 2 year old came down and sat right beside me, saying "Hi, Mommy" with the sweetest of smiles as she cuddled into my side. I closed my eyes, put my hands around her tiny little body and prayed a whispered "thank you".I looked up at the counter and noticed the odds and ends that covered the kitchen counters. Everything out of place. Random, and I mean totally RANDOM items were all around. I thought to myself how did that get there? It's so random. Why didn't we just put it where it belonged? How do these things managed to get stacked like that? No wonder I can never find anything.
The moment with my daughter had passed, and I rose thinking about the clutter. I expressed my thoughts to Jared and we laughed as I told him "There's a sermon in that". Which is something I find myself thinking a lot, lately. God is in this moment. What's He showing me?
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I can never find a pen. No wonder. Looking at the picture above, I can see why. It's way at the back of the counter, blocked from view by the detangler, hair brush, unused wallet, broken pencil, and a load of other things.
What happened to the check I got in the mail? Ummmmmm- no idea. It wasn't something I thought to put up because the counter was clear at the time. I didn't know all of these other things would pile up.
Can't we put the baby monitor in the same place each time? I never know where it is! It's like having a 5th remote! And the iphone charger. How am I supposed to see that when it's buried under paper towels and oven mitts?!
These, my friends, are The Stacks of Life. We can play The Blame Game and say that the mess is because of everyone else- but just for today, I want to be honest with myself and take ownership for the stacks that I know are mine.
I can relate each of these items to a personal struggle that I carry. Somehow, I believe that Jesus is showing me that I need to stack more carefully. I need to organize my heart.
I can never find my courage because it's hidden at the back of my heart. Blocked by fear, worry, anxiety, and past hurts.
I can't remember the encouragement my husband gave me this morning because I placed it nonchalantly in my heart without really recognizing it's value. On top of his words, I stacked a discouraging text, a disappointing bit of information about a family member, and my insecurities about my weight. No wonder I couldn't find kind words to repay him later on that evening.
Why can't we keep God's truths in our hearts for when these things pile up? How are we supposed to find truth buried underneath the weight of darkness and lies? God, help us organize this mess!
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What are the proper places for these things? Where can I set these things that life hands to me?
If it's anything like my house, and I'm seeing that it SO very much is, then I have two choices.
Place it in a basket and put it upstairs or take it to it's proper place.
Sometimes I put the things labeled in my mind as "I have no idea what to do with this" in a small laundry basket and I take it upstairs for the time being. I don't have the brain power to deal with it right now, so in the basket- it goes. Then little by little it finds a place. Sometimes it takes just a day. Sometimes months... and let's be honest... sometimes it gets thrown in a closet and I don't see it for a year!
Can't we do this with the Stacks of Life most commonly known as our "junk"? We don't know where it goes. We don't know what to do with it, and we definitely can't make much sense of it in our current state of mind. We don't want it out there for all to see and for people to trip over. We want it tucked away somewhere until we can fully find a place for it. Can't we "take it upstairs"... to the "man upstairs", and put it at the feet of God Almighty? Wow. What a safe place for it to be, right? I'm excited now.
Or if it's something that I've put up before, and I have a place for it- why not take the time to put it in it away? Brushes go in the bathroom. Jewelry goes back in the box on my dresser, pens go in the pen box... (yes. I have one), and the broken pencils should have been thrown away a long time ago.
You know where some things go. You know that your joy should be thrown back into your family. You know that your brokenness can be shared with both Jesus and a dear friend whom you trust. You know that the attention you seek on social media could easily be supplied by your loving husband if you'd just take a minute to accept his embrace. Of course Jesus will hold anything you want Him to hold, but He's also given us vessels on earth that provide us with proper places to set our things back down. Some things, dear friends, should have been thrown away a long time ago. Cast out and removed from our hearts. Those toxic relationships, those Netflix shows that you only watch alone, or the sarcasm you keep jabbing at your loved ones. Throw it out. Put these things in their proper place and clear the counter.
May we find God easily when we look for Him. May His words be hidden in our hearts and His praises ever be on our tongues.
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Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.- Matthew 11:28
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me- Psalm 51:10
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.- Jeremiah 29:13
I have hidden your word in my heart, so that I might not sin against you- Psalm 119:11
Father we come to you today, asking you to help us deal with our stacks. We praise you for All of your works that are happening around us, and we ask that you'd do the same in our hearts. We ask that you'd give us the strength to place our whole lives in your hands. Give us the diligence to seek out proper places to lay down our struggles and share our burdens with one another. Let us find new ways to disperse the distractions in our lives, trusting that your truth will be seen amidst the clutter. May the heart of our homes be cleared of all things that would hide your love and your precepts away. May we always find kindness. May we always find grace. May we always find YOU. Enter our homes and our hearts. Clear out our spirit and make room for Your love to sweep through, covering everything in it's path. We love you, Lord. We welcome You to come have Your way in us.
